Thursday, 23 April 2015

Dear Jamelia, #WeAreTheThey

"I don't believe stores should stock clothes below or above a certain weight. They should be made to feel uncomfortable when they go in and can't find a size."
"It shouldn't be normalised in high street stores. They should have specialist shops."
Shocking, right? As we all know, these comments were made by 'popstar' and loose woman Jamelia. A woman that is the figure head of a women's charity, who has claimed for many years to want to promote self confidence throughout the female population, apparently, unless you are 'over' or 'under' a certain size.
I don't normally address weight based controversy on the blog because I, ultimately, am in it for the fashion! However, this directly relates to my love of fashion and the huge increase in the beautiful garments being available to me over the last few years. As a teenager, I had 0 self confidence due to other peoples view of my weight and other additional factors. As 98% of the population have been, I was bullied severely throughout school, but these aren't things that I dwell on now. Now, I am a strong, confident, stylish, FAT WOMAN and I can honestly say I have never, ever been happier in my own skin or with my own personal sense of style and how I am able to express that through plus size fashions. But, according to Jamelia, I don't deserve to feel this happiness and confidence, because I am at the 'extreme' end of the size scale.
So, in direct response to these comments, one of my fabulous fellow plus size bloggers Debz (from The Not So Secret Diary Of A Wannabe Princess - started the hashtag #WeAreTheThey which was trending all of yesterday evening on Twitter. Jamelia has addressed individuals that are 'too small' or 'too large' on several occasions as 'they', so we want to show her who that 'they' really are. We are mothers, sisters, daughters, cousins, friends, women and ultimately, human beings that do not deserve to feel anything other than fabulous because WE ARE WHO WE ARE and that factor has nothing to do with anyone else other than ourselves. I AM FAT BECAUSE I AM and that does not make me any less deserving of nice things, any less deserving of positivity or love and it certainly does not make me an acceptable target for bizarre and misinformed comments such as these.
In my opinion (as Jamelia has stated we are all allowed to have those, even us 'extremely sized'), it has 0 to do with weight and all to do with human decency. Someone else's health is none of your business, nor is someone else's size - whether their size is very small or very large or anywhere in between. We should be setting examples for future generations and building one another up as women, completely regardless of size, we should be supporting and loving one another. Not segregating certain groups. Sure, no size extreme is 100% healthy, that is a fact, however, as I have said 900 times, that very small or very large person is the only one that should be thinking about that - IT IS NO ONE ELSES BUSINESS. Shaming them one way or another is going to do nothing but harm to their mental health, their physical health and their self confidence. And we are meant to believe that harming a human beings mental, physical and emotional health by pushing them to the fringe of society is a good thing? As a mother, how would Jamelia feel if her little girl gained,lost weight and was treated hideously by her peers or by high street stores? How would Jamelia feel if her little girl gained,lost weight and cried because Jamelia had made sure all plus size clothing/small size clothing is removed from the market to make us all as uncomfortable as possible? Now I'm sure she would say her little girl will make more 'wise health decisions' than to become 'extremely sized' but no one knows what might happen in the future. No one knows why someone is one extreme or the other - whether it is to do with physical or emotional problems, medication, the fact they fucking love/hate food or any of the above - IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. I AM FAT BECAUSE I AM AND I AM FABULOUS BECAUSE I AM and no one, especially not an 'ex popstar' turned daytime TV star is going to take that away from us.
I don't know about you but I love seeing women encouraging one another and supporting one another. Praising one another and complimenting one another. We all make mistakes and say ridiculous things we don't mean/we say from an ill-informed place. I for one am happy to forgive Jamelia and forget the whole business because in the end, her ignorance is only going to cause harm to her own happiness. Don't let it bring you down, don't let it make you feel any less deserving of lovely things and confidence - you deserve everything single thing you have worked this hard to have. No matter who you are - fat, thin, short, tall, black, white, old, young etc there will always be SOMEONE who disapproves of you for one reason or another and that is why you can't let this shit get to you and you can't let this shit bring you down.
And as I sit here, reminiscing over the donut I ate for breakfast, I can't help but think we are all in this together and together we are strong. Fat or thin, you are beautiful and you are you, I AM ME BECAUSE I AM #wearethethey, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
Lots Of Love,


  1. I love this post, and applaud your use of most excellent memes/gifs. ;) xx

  2. Hey, I'm pretty new to your blog and I just wanted to say I LOVED reading this article and it even made me do a little cry. I, like yourself have experienced terribly low self esteem and at times have found it difficult to accept my body or to let others see it but now I'm starting to love my body and it angers me that people can be so derogatory and hateful towards someone who doesn't fit their idea of the perfect person. Thank you so much for sharing this post and writing something I can so easily relate to. You are a beautiful lady, inside and out :) xx

    1. Thank you so much. This really is so kind and to hear such positivity makes me so happy. You absolutely deserve to feel wonderful about yourself because you are fabulous, inside and out! x