So this post is going to be something a little different for me and something that I don't normally do, which is, addressing the haters.
This weekend, I received my first 'real' experience of what they call 'trolls' and it was rather a different experience to what I imagined it may be.
After my image was posted on the social media page of a great plus size brand (whom I do not hold AT ALL responsible for the actions of individuals in any way) because I had reviewed a piece of their lingerie for Valentine's Day, the majority of the comments left were wonderful, very positive or if they were critical - it was constructive criticism concerning the item I was wearing.
However, as expected, soon after, the hate began flooding in and I received some of the following comments;
'underwear is nice, tattoos are gross'
'this would not entice me to buy this, its so unflattering'
'horrible too many tattoos'
'I know when I look stupid in something and would never put it on the internet for the world to see'
'all we hear is plus size bloggers appeasing each other and lets face it, not all plus size bloggers look good'
'I'm a big girl, but this looks bad'
These comments continued and caused some very heated debate with a lot of incredible individuals standing up for me and questioning the necessity of these comments. People asked why they felt the need to comment on anything other than the item of clothing - which should have been the main point of focus. I also found that once challenged, these 'trolls' simply claimed they were giving their 'opinion'.
Maybe I am naïve in my view that there is a great difference between giving an opinion and just being a bit nasty? You can have a different opinion, without being rude and this can be voiced with being hurtful. When I first saw these negative comments popping up, I got a little fixated on them and as expected, they did start to hurt my feelings and niggle at me because they were so unnecessary. But thanks to a group of wonderful girls I am lucky enough to call my friends and some resolute positivity I began to realise that these nasty comments and rude 'opinions', really do not matter, at all, on any level.
I wanted to write this post just to say to everyone out there that has ever struggled with trolls, negativity, bullying or just plain rudeness - it DOES NOT MATTER. These individuals DO NOT MATTER. Their cruel words DO NOT MATTER. For every one one hater, there are 10 people inspired and motivated by you. For every one hater, there are 10 people relating to you and feeling their confidence grow. For every one hater there is ONE OF YOU and that is all that matters. You matter, what you do matters, how you feel about yourself matters, the confidence and inspiration you can provide to someone just by being who you are matters. Please do not let them bring you down, don't let their taunts ruin your day or knock your confidence. No matter what they are hating on you for, it is not worth a second thought, if it wasn't that, it would be something else, you can never please everyone. I know sometimes it can feel easier said that done when you're greeted by a barrage of negativity but have a good cry, speak to your family, speak to your friends, eat some ice cream, have a bath, take a walk, work out, cuddle your other half, cuddle your pet, cuddle your soft toys - do what makes YOU feel good and you will soon see that all that matters is how you feel about yourself - which should NOT be determined by keyboard warriors, strangers or bullies. Kill them with kindness, class, good humour and humility and keep your head held high.
Trust me, the more your confidence grows, the less these people will matter - you are a beautiful a wonderful human being who offers more to the world than they ever could.
Lots Of Love,